Tender Heart.........

Hey friends....glad you stopped by here. This post is more for me to remember than anything, but feel free to add your thoughts here.

Tonight, Asher stayed home from church because he wasn't feeling too good. His stomach has been bothering him for a day or so now. Todd stayed home with him. Also today, we received two boxes in the mail from grandma....she just totally loves us! She sent the new sensation, Cinderella III; (how many more will there be?) Anyway...Asher wanted to watch it tonight, so Todd put it on for him. I think he caught the end of it earlier when he came home from school because Sienna was watching it. So when we got home from church tonight he was watching it and it was almost over. I was trying to get things picked up from the day and I came walking by in the living room where he was visibly upset:

Me: "Asher what is the matter?"
A: (no answer)
Me: Asher what is wrong with you?
A: (he turned around to face me with a tear on his cheek) "I like this part"
Me: (very shocked to see him balling) "Hey Todd, look"
Todd: (smiling) It's ok buddy.
(the part in the movie is where the prince's dad is giving one of Cinderella's step sisters something special....no clue what it is...just caught that much)
I reach over the couch to pat and rub his back because he was so moved by that. We told him we loved him. And he was ok.

This isn't the first time he has displayed such sensivity. Here's a little background to this story in a nutshell. One summer we went to Mexico and took asher and sienna with us....to a children's home. It was awesome. Sienna was about 18 months old I think. She would not lye down to take a nap and was running all over the place. I was getting pretty frustrated with her and was trying to catch her. She went to jump on this couch that had hard wood armrests and as she did, I spanked her. When I spanked her she kinda jolted forward a bit and hit her head on the armrest. She was crying then and I picked her up to comfort her. When I pulled her back from me and saw her face, her cheek had split open a bit. I lost it. I freaked. I couldn't believe that had happened...totally an accident. We ended up patching her up ourselves with a butterfly stitch and got home to have the Dr. say we did a pretty good job. Anyway...that is the background to that. I have a picture of Sienna on my fridge from that trip and in it, she is wearing the stitch. Not too long ago, Asher had just returned home from school. I was standing in the kitchen starting supper. He was looking at the fridge and just out of nowhere started balling. I said, "what in the world asher, what is wrong son?" He said, "momma, I know you didn't mean to do that to Sienna." I grabbed him, of course, and hugged him and told him he was right. After a minute or two, he was ok and went on his way. Very random.

There have been other times. If someone is hurt, or sick, or having surgery, he has said to me, "momma, i wish that was me and not them."

Someone recently told me that Todd and I are going to have to help him learn how to protect that part of himself from people...where they can't use it against him. I hate that thought. You know, that people could be cruel to him for the way God made him. He is such a sweet boy and I hate to think of anyone hurting him in any way. But more than that, I hate the thought that maybe somehow, I could hurt him or squash his little spirit. I have not done the best job thus far. I have at times, punished him for this sensivity, and didn't really know I was doing it. This same friend that I mentioned earlier gave me some great advice. She said to pray for God to give me wisdom to appropriately discipline in the moment. Well Duh?? I never thought about doing that before, but I sure have since. I'm seeing a difference. Praise God!!

I'm very excited to see what God does in Asher's life. I'm very thankful that he made him so tenderhearted and compassionate. It is the most heartbreaking and exhilirating ride I have ever been on....this parenting roller coaster....and I wouldn't trade my lot for nothing!

I'm going to do a post on Sienna and Sydney, respectively, soon.