Good morning!!

A great friend of mine gave me a little book, My Utmost for His Highest, and I've really been struck by all the nuggets of wisdom and insight by this guy, Oswald Chambers. I actually was given it once before right out of highschool, but I don't remember reading it much then, and most of it would have gone straight over my head. Some of it still goes over my head, but alot of it has been speaking straight to my heart.

I was catching up this morning and read the page from yesterday. The title of it is "Nothing of the Old Life". I want to just include an excerpt from his thoughts.

"When we are born again, the Holy Spirit begins to work His new creation in us, and there will come a time when there is nothing remaining of the old life. Our old gloomy outlook disappears, as does our old attitude toward things, and "all things are of God" (2 Cor. 5:18). How are we going to get a life that has no lust, no self-interest, and is not sensitive to the ridicule of others? How will we have the type of love that "is kind....is not provoked, and thinks no evil"? The only way is by allowing nothing of the old life to remain, and by having only simple, perfect trust in God--such a trust that we no longer want God's blessings, but only want God Himself. Have we come to the point where God can withdraw His blessings from us without our trust in Him being affected? Once we truly see God at work, we will never be concerned again about the things that happen, because we are actually trusting in our Father in heaven, whom the world cannot see."

In the last couple of years, I've really struggled with my trust in God. I mean, who hasn't really. I know I'm not unique in this. But really. I want to trust God to the point that he speaks about. This idea of "not wanting God's blessings" is so counter cultural; even in the church. We all want God's blessings. And I don't think he's saying we shouldn't pray for certain things to be blessed. But to get to the point in my walk where all I really want is God Himself, and nothing more. Wow. And doesn't that feel so out of reach somtimes? Like only the great men and women of the Bible had that kind of trust. Oh I know they struggled too; but sometimes I feel like they were/are on a whole different level. It seems like we have so much more competing for our attention, time, effort here and now than they did. I'm thankful that He is getting me there. I may be kicking and screaming some days, but He's getting me there.

Father, thank you for your gentle knudges and whispers, and for your firm hand when necessary. I don't doubt that you love me. Help me to trust you more and more. Help me to surrender all of me to you. Thank you for the many ways you speak today. I love you Father.

In Jesus' name,
amen